The Coach Ratner Podcast
Coach Ratner is not a matchmaker, but a MateMaker. With 7 books under his belt, Coach Ratner is an accomplished author and sought-after speaker on topics such as relationships, self-esteem and spirituality. His unique insights and captivating speaking style have helped countless individuals achieve their goals and transform their lives.
The Coach Ratner Podcast
Final Episode of Sunscreen Love Audiobook
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Ever wondered if sharing everything with your spouse is actually strengthening your marriage—or slowly draining it?
The concept of SLIM (Sometimes Less Is More) challenges our assumptions about what creates true intimacy in relationships. When we thoughtfully filter the external problems we bring home, especially those stemming from work stress or health challenges, we protect the sanctuary of our marriage from unnecessary negativity.
Many of us make the mistake of equating complete transparency with deeper connection. In reality, your partner's enthusiasm for hearing about your work day naturally diminishes over years together. This isn't a sign of marital trouble but simply an evolution of interests. Your profession shouldn't define your identity within your relationship.
Through heartfelt personal examples, including navigating a cancer diagnosis while raising five young children, we explore how selective communication serves not as deception but as an act of love. By choosing what details to share during life's hardest moments, we can maintain the positive environment essential for our relationships to flourish.
Think of your marriage like skin requiring protection: every compliment applies a layer of sunscreen, while criticism washes it away. No amount of after-care can fully heal the damage of persistent negativity. Creating a home filled with joy and positivity—rather than one weighed down by external problems—establishes the foundation for passion to naturally thrive.
Looking for more relationship insights? Subscribe to the Coach Ratner Podcast for free audiobook versions of my works, and download complimentary resources at CoachRatner.com. Your extraordinary marriage—one filled with joy, passion and unshakable commitment—is within reach when you understand that sometimes, less truly is more.
SLIM. Sometimes less is more. This acronym can have implications across various aspects of life, but there's one specific area where embracing less can lead to, more specifically, a more passionate marriage. By minimizing the number of external problems you bring into your relationship, you can enhance the concept of SLIM. Often, these challenges stem from work or health issues. While it's natural to lean on your spouse for support, consider whether discussing certain topics is necessary.
Speaker 1:Avoiding unnecessary stress or pressure can create a more harmonious environment, allowing your relationship to flourish without the weight of outside burdens. For instance, imagine you just lost a significant business deal for various reasons. You don't need to burden your spouse with every detail of the situation. Instead, you could simply share that you lost the sale and plan to learn from the experience moving forward. If your spouse works in the same field, they might be interested in more specifics, but that's not the norm.
Speaker 1:It's important to remember that being married doesn't automatically mean your spouse wants to hear every aspect of your day. Filtering your conversations can help maintain a positive atmosphere and keep the focus on what truly matters. During my time in business, whenever I closed a profitable deal, I would feel an urge to rush home and share my excitement with my wife. However, after a few years I noticed that her enthusiasm for my work began to wane. It's not uncommon for one spouse to lose interest in the other's career over time, especially if you have been married for many years. Do not confuse your spouse's interest in your work with the success of your marriage. Your work should be what you do to pay the bills. It should not define you as a person. If you work in a high-stress environment like a hospital, your spouse may not want to hear every detail of your day, especially if it was challenging. Instead of diving into specifics about a rough day, it's often better to simply acknowledge that it was tough. A helpful guideline is to keep your conversations positive. If something isn't uplifting or necessary to share, consider holding back. When your spouse knows that your discussions will revolve around positive or joyful experiences, they'll be more eager to engage with you. Conversely, if your conversations are dominated by negativity, they might begin to associate you with those feelings which can create distance in the relationship. Think about how you feel when interacting with someone who is consistently a downer. Chances are you don't look forward to those conversations.
Speaker 1:I encountered a personal situation that truly heightened the importance of maintaining a positive outlook. When I was diagnosed with lung cancer at the age of 47, it came just two months after my wife had to have given birth to our youngest child. At that time, we were also parenting four other children, all age seven and under. This was undeniably a stressful period for our family. Staying positive was crucial. If I allowed negativity to take over, our already challenging circumstances could have escalated into something worse. By focusing on hope, I not only supported my own mental health, but also created an environment where my family could cope more effectively with the stress we were facing. This experience reinforced for me the significance of positivity in the face of adversity, particularly within a marriage.
Speaker 1:Since my wife was already having to go through a lot after having a baby, I had to be more careful about what I told her about my condition. I did not want to stress her out more than she needed to be. I definitely kept her informed of what was happening, but I did not have to let her know everything. The doctor told me things that my wife didn't need to hear, such as extremely high death rate for lung cancer. That would not have accomplished anything except cause unnecessary stress. Although she was there, I needed to talk to her. I filtered what I told her. Your home should be a sanctuary filled with love, happiness and positivity.
Speaker 1:Allowing negativity from external sources can disrupt the environment essential for a thriving marriage. Sometimes saying less to your spouse will bring more passion to your relationship. Making sure your spouse is happy will ensure that you are happy, and sometimes less is more when it comes to how you communicate with your spouse. Final blessing I hope you enjoyed reading this book. Marriage is one of life's most beautiful and meaningful relationships. While saying I do may be easy, nurturing love and keeping it strong requires consistent effort. Think of it like sunscreen. Every time you compliment your spouse, you're applying a protective layer that keeps your relationship thriving. However, every criticism wipes that sunscreen away, and no amount of aloe vera can soothe the sting of a relationship that's been burned. So keep applying the sunscreen and enjoy a life of love, happiness and harmony. My heartfelt blessing for all my readers is that you find a partner to love for a lifetime, not just in a good or even great marriage, but in an extraordinary one. May you reach the pinnacle of never leaving where your relationship is filled with joy, passion and an unshakable commitment to one another.
Speaker 1:If you enjoyed my book or have constructive feedback. I would truly appreciate it if you left a review on Amazon. Your thoughts mean a lot to me. Don't forget to check out my podcast, the Coach Ratner Podcast, where you can listen to many of my books as free audiobooks. You can also download many of my free books for free at CoachRatnercom. Thank you for taking the time to read this book. I'm deeply grateful for your support. This is Coach Ratner at the Coach Ratner Podcast.